Big Brother Naija: Leadership lessons gleaned from Khloe

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It has been three weeks of big brother Naija season 3 titled; Double Wahala. The house mate has made the competition house look like a love and romantic nest. Despite all the negative there are lots of positive lesson to glean from this reality show as Nigerian and Africans. Some of these leadership lessons are;

Listen: Khloe (officially Queen Koko Da Silva) was not a good listener. She was too loud and noisy as the Average Nigerian politician. She was not calm; she exhibits a pure character of a sanguine leader. She knows how to talk to her followers about what she expected of them. How she expected the house to be but did not do enough to listen to her fellow housemates like Tobi Bakre. Tobi Bakre was a good listener. He did not listen to respond but listened to understand. Most of the girls loves Tobi for been a listener and a gardener(care-taker). Khloe was too dramatic, she was the loud and lousy.

Team player: Queen Koko Da Silva; Khloe was good in initiating a good plan but did not do well in getting the buy-in of all her team. She had a good idea to make the Housemates to talk about entrepreneurship but slipped while waking Dee-One from his sleep. She would have done well if she had delegated Vandora to wake Dee-One from his sleep. Vandora would have been able to wake him up without a uproar. In leadership the buy-in of majority of your team is very important. Leadership is not about the leader but about the leader and followers.

One of defining choice of a leader is choice of partner and/or team.

Attitude: Charles Swindoll said, “The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company…a church….a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past…we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude…I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you…we are in charge of our attitudes.” ― Charles R Swindoll

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Khloe was indiscipline and this was the single bullet that disqualified her from the house. She loose her temper easily and at free will. Her case was like Alexandra the great who conquered the world but did not conquered himself. During her tenure the housemates won the wager for the first time which Tobi Bakre failed to do. She won the wager but was disqualified from the house despite her immunity. She was the custodian of the grunde norm. It was her primary assignment as Head of House to keep sanity in the house but she failed in her primary assignment. I would not blame KBrule for whatever happened. As a leadership expert, I know looking at Khloe’s body language yesterday she felt she was sent packing because of Kbrule but leadership is huge RESPONSIBILITY. Khloe wanted 45 million Naira but her attitude kicked her out of contention. This singular scenario justifies Charles Swindoll’s quote. Dear reader, your attitude is more important than MONEY.

Many young people who are watching Big Brother Naija and are in the house see themselves as the leaders of tomorrow but they lack the simple understanding of leadership. This reality show has opened our eye to our indiscipline, low self-esteem, lack of value and many more. The positive is that we are intelligent, energetic, passionate, talented and full of a lot of ideas. If all you are watching is the nude and immoral side, it is time to turn the coin and see how you can improve your life from this big reality show.

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LOVE LETTER TO HADASSAH

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Dear Hadassah,

My charming enigma of beauty, outstanding royalty in attitude, the touch of excellence. Magnetic and alluring to behold. The medicine to my craze. An ardent and addicted God-lover. My Queen, your king loves you. I pray you love me.

Yes, this is my confession of my imperfect perfection. Your king is not asking you put up with his nonsense but the brokenness that beautifies him. It is the way of eagles to fly alone. Many walk, few run and eagles fly alone. Be sure I want to spend my life with you under the refuge of THE ROCK.

I am not a party freak. The weird thing is I love dancing, singing, eating and gisting. I love rap music and hymns. I don’t love crowd. Crowd scares me when it is a weird party. I manage to blend in a few time but I end up with headache. You will be amazed when you see me dancing and you are in for a big competition on wedding day. I dislike party and aso-ebi, not that they are bad but they are just not my thing. I grew up knowing I dislike it. I am open to go to a few parties with you but not always.

Treasure, I am not perfect o. I joy in deep thought. Critical thinking is my obsession. I don’t fall into this always but I do seldom. When I do I soliloquize. I mutter words. I love been left alone. I retract and sleek away into solitude. This is a time of pain and travail to birth new ideas and solutions. It really does not last long but very dangerous to nag at this period. I abhor and detest it. This is the height of insensitivity to me. This time all I deserve from you is food, chocolate, a surprise peck or short kiss, a path on the back and the energizing word “I LOVE YOU”.

Let me apologize for all my wrong before time. Hadas, when am in traffic, at work or even in sleep I could receive a love poem all about you. Don’t be annoy if your mirror, make-up box, dressing table or refrigerator are defaced with my love poems sticky note in all color shades. I could be really crazy to drive home during working hours only to quickly stick a poem for you before you come back home. Please be accommodating to allow me own the kitchen with you when I am available. Our kitchen is the place to feed the nation and foreplay room. I am communal and love privacy. Ahhh, now you wonder how possible. I joy in the people that surrounds me and like them around especially if they got positive energy but I sleek away a few time to give “BIRTH”. It is the way of eagles to live with a partner till death and so I will.

It is the way of eagles to be singly focused. Don’t mind my obsession about you. I already started displaying it before your arrival, I don’t intend to stop. I am not good at giving gift but I will do my best to pull few surprises. Please look beyond the gift into the heart of giving.

I am not looking for you; I am looking for God in you. I am sure if you love God you will love me. Give all of you to God. Verily, verily I say to you, no prayer can make me ask you on a first date if I catch a glimpse of heavy make-up, chain on your leg, tattoo of me, cross, Jesus or anything on your body, fixing of eye-lashes and anything that is over doing. Godliness is not hidden; it will always appear in our dressing. It is simple to catch my attention. It is simple simply excellence. Let me repeat your total submission and love to God is the key to my love. Please just be you, I already love you and promise to always do.

I am a man of many flaws and mistakes but I have asked God for a large heart for you. I am not immortal but supernatural. I love you already without your sight. I am impressed by your deep love for God, strong ethic for work, and effectual prayer life. You are all I crave, desire and want. Tobi love you big big. You are my heartbeat.

 

Your King.

Valentine Special: What is love?

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What is love? Can you define love? I am sure I have heard love over 1 million times since I was born. I have seen people make love to themselves but still end up divorced. I have seen two people in love hate themselves. They say love is an emotional feeling. Yes, I used to believe that but today I have something different to share with you.

If love is a feeling, then it becomes very easy for our feelings to change because our mind where emotion seat has capacity to be happy and sad, confused and convinced, and likewise love and hate. It is like a changeover switch that can move anytime situation or environment changes. It is a thermometer. If love is based on feeling, then the environment is a very important factor in falling into and falling out of love. Love or hate could be based on friends, education, social status, money, looks, and etc. These things are ephemeral. They are perishing, surface and temporal.

I am of the opinion that love is a spirit not feeling. It is constant. It cannot be separated. It does not switch-over. It is a thermostat that rather influence its environment to flow with it. It is a powerful energy that does not look at physical environment, rather it is piercing into the inner mind of the other to see deep and eternal beauty of the other. It is the singular thing that will make you receive a heart of giving rather than the gift. The gift may be less expensive but you will appreciate it like gold.   Love is giving what the receiver cannot pay back. Love is giving and forgiving. If he or she cannot forgive then they aren’t loving but this should not be a reason why you should always misbehave. We love receiving gift but it is hard to forgive. Forgiving is a greater proof of love. ‘

One of the test of love of eagles is to pick a leave drops it into the wind while flying. The other partner dives down into the wind to pick the leave and bring it up to the other partner. This is a way to test loyalty. Everyone can love in calm and splendid time. It is easy to love in comfort, how about in challenges(wind) will your partner be loyal and forgiving?

Love is never one way, it is two ways, it is giving and forgiving, it is a rose of flower full with thorn because of the destroyer. It is a full spirit in human being that cannot be unchanging, immortal and divine. It is the giver of life and the source of all. You cannot give sacrificial love without Him. He gave and forgave you allow Jesus into your life. You will have the capacity to love extravagantly because love is a spirit. The love of God is shed abroad through the Holy Ghost in us. We are a receiver and transmitter of radio wave. God loves you. I love you. Go and love on the world.

Is it true Yorubas don’t have varieties of soup that can spice up your Christmas holiday?

 

It is festive period again, a time for making different delicacies, it is a time to be happy, rejoice and be glad for all we have been through and the coming great future. Today let decode if it is true the Yorubas don’t have a soup that an spice up your festive celebration.

I have heard many times, Yorubas don’t have soup, and it sounds real but insulting to me. Does it mean that the Yoruba linage lived long and ripe with only Ewedu and Efo? I thought deeply and I decided to settle the score with my mum. My mum has this to say;

Yoruba have soups; we only have a generation of older people that decided to drop the old style, fashion and culture when they were migrating to Lagos and other places of the world. They decided that the things they had earlier learned were local, primitive and poor. Today, we are struggling with a loss of identity as the Oduduwa race.

Another lesson, never expect your wife to know all this things I am about to show you. In fact assume she will know nothing. You have to learn to prepare them yourself. Make them for her to try, if she likes it teach her to make it. When a man becomes the teacher of a woman in the kitchen her sex hormones is arouse without a touch. Kitchen is where her guards are down and she is herself, she is no fake. If she is frustrate or happy, you will know at the taste of the food. My son listen, if you know how to open the kitchen door with love then the door of romance in the other room will never be shut.

She concluded saying, the Yoruba patriarch were warriors and herbalists who moved from place to place seeking refuge and comfort, this means that they made herbs. They ate every leave that is medicinal as vegetable; they made veggies from cocoyam and pawpaw leave, who will do that now?. She spoke about Yanrin, she said the ancient men made the local Yanrin vegetable to protect their children and family from witchcraft and charm. She stress men because the men decide which soup to make, they bring the vegetable home for the woman to prepare. She mentioned a few of the vegetables that her mother made on the farm; Yanrin, Marugbo, Isapatoromoyan, Gbegiri, Gbogbododo, Orunla, Efo Abalaye, Sokoyokoto and many more. She mentioned other foods like Ekuru, Esuru, Lamuluke, Eko, Ifokore, etecera. Which millennial girl knows how to cook the first three of those Vegetables?

Yoruba people have one of the deepest and richest cultures in Nigeria. We have fought other tribes as we moved from place to place. We have fought ourselves. We have lost and also have been victorious. I am Omoluabi, I am proud of my heritage, I embrace my source, and I reject barbaric culture but kiss every love embedded culture of my race. I am Omoluabi.

LET’S CHANGE THE WORLD TOGETHER.

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Young Protégé Leadership Foundation is a not for profit organization that educate, mentor and empower children and young people on leadership and active participation in their local community for socioeconomic growth and development in Africa.
We are a team of young people committed, dedicated and passionate about bringing a paradigm shift to the story of Africa through advocacy support for quality education and global citizenship education, mentoring classes, and development of fun and innovative tools.
We are in search of committed and passionate young men and women between the age of 16-35, let make out foot prints in the voyage of positive change. You can read more about us on our about page and contact page for more information

They must be willing to give 5-10 hours of every week to work willing to be active online members creative and passionate about children, education and leadership proactive and willing to learn and teachable ready to go the extra mile and innovative consistently accessed to internet is compulsory(No restrictions to country).
Your qualification is not a barrier but you must be proficient in English. This world will be a better place the day we all can give to our neighbor a baseless love…

To join click the link below…
http://youngprotegelead.org/ivolunteerIMG-20171024-WA0004

FEELING COMFORTABLE IN MY “SINGLE” CHAIR?

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In Africa, when you attain a certain age the world begin to put pressure on you and remind you of getting married. Marriage is not the key to happiness and been single is not a curse. Nothing is wrong with you as a single man or lady? Please why do you need someone to complete you?

The first 25 years of my life was in the single zone. It was the most interesting and adventurous time of my life. A time I spent in developing and growing mhyself which has not stopped. They were the time I found MYSELF. I enjoyed God’s love and also gave love to myself. When you take yourself to the ice-cream parlour you do not need to take a selfie to show it. When you went to do some swimming you do not need to think will I like it. When you are doing your early morning jogging while articulating goals and also speaking in the unknown. You love yourself unstopped. None stop and without hurt. This is the time of no friction and this allow you give better love to others and God. There was no depression. I enjoyed all around me. I said what I want to say and how I want to say it.

Just close to my twenty-fifth birthday, I started allowing the feelings of the heart speak to me. It was overwhelming and really made me vulnerable.  I was playing a romantic movie scene on TV which was awesomely amazing. My heart was given away totally. I was sold out. I was in my heart rejoicing to the altar. Suddenly, there was sharp turn and each vehicle drove farther and farther from each other. I have drawn my first and probably last lesson of love from this event.

I confess that the process of healing was not easy. Your healing starts when you forgive. It required lot of energy and emotion readjustment or engineering. It was also in this time I was going through health challenges, It became really revealing when you are left alone to navigate through the storms but you were there when they needed a hand. I learned very serious lessons of life. I have forgiven the person but I will never forget the lesson learned. It is no wonder the Book of books says guard your heart with all diligence…some people are scavenging and looking for who to steal or rob of their happiness, kill their morale and when they leave they expect you to be sad because they have just destroyed and withdrawn your happiness. This is because they think they are all you got to be happy. You have to prove them wrong.

I have spent the last 12 months again in the SINGLE chair with the last 3 months been comfortable and hungry for more life achievement. The creativity and innovation spirit is rejuvenated. I am fired up to do more, I am inspired to break limit and deliver set goals. Hello, your been single is for a purpose enjoy it and grow in it. If you have never enjoyed been single you can never enjoy been married, it did not say that but Dr. Myles Munroe said it. Why are you in a haste to get married? Why are you troubled to find someone? Calm down, I tell you, eyes have not seen and ears have not heard what the Lord has prepared for you. Whenever they don’t love you they always complain. The Book of books say the path of you the righteous shines brighter and brighter… the truth is you are getting better and better. As I get closer to thirty, I am remembered I don’t deserve better but the BEST. Show plenty love to yourself in your single state, take yourself out, cook sweet delicacies to yourself, take care of your body as a king or queen you are. Smile with a big attitude of gratitude for the altitude you are stepping into. You are LIMITLESS when you understand that been SINGLE is not a curse. Very soon you find that person who does not need you to be complete and you don’t need them to complete. They just love you because of YOU. Not that you don’t have flaws but they just love you still and cannot stop loving you. Till then keep feeling comfortable in your SINGLE chair.

HOW DID MAMMON BECOME A LANDLORD IN THE CHURCH?

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I am not fit to write about this, I am not the most righteous or holy. I am writing this as it is disturbing me inside my spirit. I can’t watch any more while we disdain the name of my Lord Jesus. Money is a creation of Man, now Man is worshiping his own creation and turn against God.

Jesus said at the last days men will be lovers of themselves. In another portion the Book of books says the love of money is the root of all evil.

Some few weeks back an OAP Daddy Freeze took on Pastors on Tithe. He said the right thing in a wrong way. Rather than trash the motive, he was seeking about an harmless concept of God. Man has turned tithing upside down.

I know this is controversial but I will still speak on it. I ask, how did mammon stroll into our religious center (mosque and church)? When did God become a beggar? Why should a Pastor say God said when God did not because of MONEY? How did church members turn the church into business center? Drunkard, fornicators and contractors have found their ways to church just to take a bite of the enormous money the priest has cunningly collected and not SALVATION the JESUS bought through His blood.

I led a project in church; it was really a great opportunity to serve the Lord. Our first meetings were one of the best; we started with prayers and ended with same prayers. We spoke in tongues during meeting and shared the word of God. It was the best of people coming together to make a great anniversary.

When Money was injected, oh God! The best people became principalities. I heard words like: Forget God, this is business. Is talk going to feed my children? I pay offering and tithes to the church, so I am entitled to share in the blessing of the church. Human being is same but only God can change the man. No wonder the Book of books says the heart of man is continually thinking evil…

I am not surprised at this but I am surprised because this is the house of God not satan or man. This country is a religious country; our heart is far from God. The apostles were called Christians because of their attitude and actions. They were not called Christians because of their confession.

Finally, Jesus said he will start the judgment from His own house (the CHURCH). Why? He must have known the end time church will be polluted. It is time for the church to return to the old religion of faith. The faith of the Apostles. The church must be the house of truth and not lies. It is time we know it is not about the multitude we gather in our multi-million dollar house of worship. I hope you know the church is not block and concrete we sing and dance in. If the church cannot be the house of truth where else must the truth be spoken? Jesus said I am the TRUTH, WAY and LIGHT. If the only message of the church is Jesus then it must be TRUTH.

The Church is HOLY, RIGHTEOUS and the BRIDE of the LORD JESUS. Jesus is calling us to repent, repent of our bad ways and embarrassing his name. It is time to turn back to Jesus. Jesus is not condemning you but he loves you extravagantly. If not he would not have died.

The Lord used whip to drive out buyers and sellers from the temple. Jesus called the Pharisees and Sadducees White Sepulcher. I hope we are not white sepulchers or we are not same buyers and sellers in the temple, if we are then the judgment of the Lord is looming. When Jesus arrives he will clean up the church.

He who has ear let him hear what the spirit is saying to the Church.