Big Brother Naija: Leadership lessons gleaned from Khloe

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It has been three weeks of big brother Naija season 3 titled; Double Wahala. The house mate has made the competition house look like a love and romantic nest. Despite all the negative there are lots of positive lesson to glean from this reality show as Nigerian and Africans. Some of these leadership lessons are;

Listen: Khloe (officially Queen Koko Da Silva) was not a good listener. She was too loud and noisy as the Average Nigerian politician. She was not calm; she exhibits a pure character of a sanguine leader. She knows how to talk to her followers about what she expected of them. How she expected the house to be but did not do enough to listen to her fellow housemates like Tobi Bakre. Tobi Bakre was a good listener. He did not listen to respond but listened to understand. Most of the girls loves Tobi for been a listener and a gardener(care-taker). Khloe was too dramatic, she was the loud and lousy.

Team player: Queen Koko Da Silva; Khloe was good in initiating a good plan but did not do well in getting the buy-in of all her team. She had a good idea to make the Housemates to talk about entrepreneurship but slipped while waking Dee-One from his sleep. She would have done well if she had delegated Vandora to wake Dee-One from his sleep. Vandora would have been able to wake him up without a uproar. In leadership the buy-in of majority of your team is very important. Leadership is not about the leader but about the leader and followers.

One of defining choice of a leader is choice of partner and/or team.

Attitude: Charles Swindoll said, “The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company…a church….a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past…we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude…I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you…we are in charge of our attitudes.” ― Charles R Swindoll

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Khloe was indiscipline and this was the single bullet that disqualified her from the house. She loose her temper easily and at free will. Her case was like Alexandra the great who conquered the world but did not conquered himself. During her tenure the housemates won the wager for the first time which Tobi Bakre failed to do. She won the wager but was disqualified from the house despite her immunity. She was the custodian of the grunde norm. It was her primary assignment as Head of House to keep sanity in the house but she failed in her primary assignment. I would not blame KBrule for whatever happened. As a leadership expert, I know looking at Khloe’s body language yesterday she felt she was sent packing because of Kbrule but leadership is huge RESPONSIBILITY. Khloe wanted 45 million Naira but her attitude kicked her out of contention. This singular scenario justifies Charles Swindoll’s quote. Dear reader, your attitude is more important than MONEY.

Many young people who are watching Big Brother Naija and are in the house see themselves as the leaders of tomorrow but they lack the simple understanding of leadership. This reality show has opened our eye to our indiscipline, low self-esteem, lack of value and many more. The positive is that we are intelligent, energetic, passionate, talented and full of a lot of ideas. If all you are watching is the nude and immoral side, it is time to turn the coin and see how you can improve your life from this big reality show.

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LOVE LETTER TO HADASSAH

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Dear Hadassah,

My charming enigma of beauty, outstanding royalty in attitude, the touch of excellence. Magnetic and alluring to behold. The medicine to my craze. An ardent and addicted God-lover. My Queen, your king loves you. I pray you love me.

Yes, this is my confession of my imperfect perfection. Your king is not asking you put up with his nonsense but the brokenness that beautifies him. It is the way of eagles to fly alone. Many walk, few run and eagles fly alone. Be sure I want to spend my life with you under the refuge of THE ROCK.

I am not a party freak. The weird thing is I love dancing, singing, eating and gisting. I love rap music and hymns. I don’t love crowd. Crowd scares me when it is a weird party. I manage to blend in a few time but I end up with headache. You will be amazed when you see me dancing and you are in for a big competition on wedding day. I dislike party and aso-ebi, not that they are bad but they are just not my thing. I grew up knowing I dislike it. I am open to go to a few parties with you but not always.

Treasure, I am not perfect o. I joy in deep thought. Critical thinking is my obsession. I don’t fall into this always but I do seldom. When I do I soliloquize. I mutter words. I love been left alone. I retract and sleek away into solitude. This is a time of pain and travail to birth new ideas and solutions. It really does not last long but very dangerous to nag at this period. I abhor and detest it. This is the height of insensitivity to me. This time all I deserve from you is food, chocolate, a surprise peck or short kiss, a path on the back and the energizing word “I LOVE YOU”.

Let me apologize for all my wrong before time. Hadas, when am in traffic, at work or even in sleep I could receive a love poem all about you. Don’t be annoy if your mirror, make-up box, dressing table or refrigerator are defaced with my love poems sticky note in all color shades. I could be really crazy to drive home during working hours only to quickly stick a poem for you before you come back home. Please be accommodating to allow me own the kitchen with you when I am available. Our kitchen is the place to feed the nation and foreplay room. I am communal and love privacy. Ahhh, now you wonder how possible. I joy in the people that surrounds me and like them around especially if they got positive energy but I sleek away a few time to give “BIRTH”. It is the way of eagles to live with a partner till death and so I will.

It is the way of eagles to be singly focused. Don’t mind my obsession about you. I already started displaying it before your arrival, I don’t intend to stop. I am not good at giving gift but I will do my best to pull few surprises. Please look beyond the gift into the heart of giving.

I am not looking for you; I am looking for God in you. I am sure if you love God you will love me. Give all of you to God. Verily, verily I say to you, no prayer can make me ask you on a first date if I catch a glimpse of heavy make-up, chain on your leg, tattoo of me, cross, Jesus or anything on your body, fixing of eye-lashes and anything that is over doing. Godliness is not hidden; it will always appear in our dressing. It is simple to catch my attention. It is simple simply excellence. Let me repeat your total submission and love to God is the key to my love. Please just be you, I already love you and promise to always do.

I am a man of many flaws and mistakes but I have asked God for a large heart for you. I am not immortal but supernatural. I love you already without your sight. I am impressed by your deep love for God, strong ethic for work, and effectual prayer life. You are all I crave, desire and want. Tobi love you big big. You are my heartbeat.

 

Your King.

Valentine Special: What is love?

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What is love? Can you define love? I am sure I have heard love over 1 million times since I was born. I have seen people make love to themselves but still end up divorced. I have seen two people in love hate themselves. They say love is an emotional feeling. Yes, I used to believe that but today I have something different to share with you.

If love is a feeling, then it becomes very easy for our feelings to change because our mind where emotion seat has capacity to be happy and sad, confused and convinced, and likewise love and hate. It is like a changeover switch that can move anytime situation or environment changes. It is a thermometer. If love is based on feeling, then the environment is a very important factor in falling into and falling out of love. Love or hate could be based on friends, education, social status, money, looks, and etc. These things are ephemeral. They are perishing, surface and temporal.

I am of the opinion that love is a spirit not feeling. It is constant. It cannot be separated. It does not switch-over. It is a thermostat that rather influence its environment to flow with it. It is a powerful energy that does not look at physical environment, rather it is piercing into the inner mind of the other to see deep and eternal beauty of the other. It is the singular thing that will make you receive a heart of giving rather than the gift. The gift may be less expensive but you will appreciate it like gold.   Love is giving what the receiver cannot pay back. Love is giving and forgiving. If he or she cannot forgive then they aren’t loving but this should not be a reason why you should always misbehave. We love receiving gift but it is hard to forgive. Forgiving is a greater proof of love. ‘

One of the test of love of eagles is to pick a leave drops it into the wind while flying. The other partner dives down into the wind to pick the leave and bring it up to the other partner. This is a way to test loyalty. Everyone can love in calm and splendid time. It is easy to love in comfort, how about in challenges(wind) will your partner be loyal and forgiving?

Love is never one way, it is two ways, it is giving and forgiving, it is a rose of flower full with thorn because of the destroyer. It is a full spirit in human being that cannot be unchanging, immortal and divine. It is the giver of life and the source of all. You cannot give sacrificial love without Him. He gave and forgave you allow Jesus into your life. You will have the capacity to love extravagantly because love is a spirit. The love of God is shed abroad through the Holy Ghost in us. We are a receiver and transmitter of radio wave. God loves you. I love you. Go and love on the world.