Big Brother Naija: Leadership lessons gleaned from Khloe

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It has been three weeks of big brother Naija season 3 titled; Double Wahala. The house mate has made the competition house look like a love and romantic nest. Despite all the negative there are lots of positive lesson to glean from this reality show as Nigerian and Africans. Some of these leadership lessons are;

Listen: Khloe (officially Queen Koko Da Silva) was not a good listener. She was too loud and noisy as the Average Nigerian politician. She was not calm; she exhibits a pure character of a sanguine leader. She knows how to talk to her followers about what she expected of them. How she expected the house to be but did not do enough to listen to her fellow housemates like Tobi Bakre. Tobi Bakre was a good listener. He did not listen to respond but listened to understand. Most of the girls loves Tobi for been a listener and a gardener(care-taker). Khloe was too dramatic, she was the loud and lousy.

Team player: Queen Koko Da Silva; Khloe was good in initiating a good plan but did not do well in getting the buy-in of all her team. She had a good idea to make the Housemates to talk about entrepreneurship but slipped while waking Dee-One from his sleep. She would have done well if she had delegated Vandora to wake Dee-One from his sleep. Vandora would have been able to wake him up without a uproar. In leadership the buy-in of majority of your team is very important. Leadership is not about the leader but about the leader and followers.

One of defining choice of a leader is choice of partner and/or team.

Attitude: Charles Swindoll said, “The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company…a church….a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past…we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude…I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you…we are in charge of our attitudes.” ― Charles R Swindoll

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Khloe was indiscipline and this was the single bullet that disqualified her from the house. She loose her temper easily and at free will. Her case was like Alexandra the great who conquered the world but did not conquered himself. During her tenure the housemates won the wager for the first time which Tobi Bakre failed to do. She won the wager but was disqualified from the house despite her immunity. She was the custodian of the grunde norm. It was her primary assignment as Head of House to keep sanity in the house but she failed in her primary assignment. I would not blame KBrule for whatever happened. As a leadership expert, I know looking at Khloe’s body language yesterday she felt she was sent packing because of Kbrule but leadership is huge RESPONSIBILITY. Khloe wanted 45 million Naira but her attitude kicked her out of contention. This singular scenario justifies Charles Swindoll’s quote. Dear reader, your attitude is more important than MONEY.

Many young people who are watching Big Brother Naija and are in the house see themselves as the leaders of tomorrow but they lack the simple understanding of leadership. This reality show has opened our eye to our indiscipline, low self-esteem, lack of value and many more. The positive is that we are intelligent, energetic, passionate, talented and full of a lot of ideas. If all you are watching is the nude and immoral side, it is time to turn the coin and see how you can improve your life from this big reality show.

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LOVE LETTER TO HADASSAH

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Dear Hadassah,

My charming enigma of beauty, outstanding royalty in attitude, the touch of excellence. Magnetic and alluring to behold. The medicine to my craze. An ardent and addicted God-lover. My Queen, your king loves you. I pray you love me.

Yes, this is my confession of my imperfect perfection. Your king is not asking you put up with his nonsense but the brokenness that beautifies him. It is the way of eagles to fly alone. Many walk, few run and eagles fly alone. Be sure I want to spend my life with you under the refuge of THE ROCK.

I am not a party freak. The weird thing is I love dancing, singing, eating and gisting. I love rap music and hymns. I don’t love crowd. Crowd scares me when it is a weird party. I manage to blend in a few time but I end up with headache. You will be amazed when you see me dancing and you are in for a big competition on wedding day. I dislike party and aso-ebi, not that they are bad but they are just not my thing. I grew up knowing I dislike it. I am open to go to a few parties with you but not always.

Treasure, I am not perfect o. I joy in deep thought. Critical thinking is my obsession. I don’t fall into this always but I do seldom. When I do I soliloquize. I mutter words. I love been left alone. I retract and sleek away into solitude. This is a time of pain and travail to birth new ideas and solutions. It really does not last long but very dangerous to nag at this period. I abhor and detest it. This is the height of insensitivity to me. This time all I deserve from you is food, chocolate, a surprise peck or short kiss, a path on the back and the energizing word “I LOVE YOU”.

Let me apologize for all my wrong before time. Hadas, when am in traffic, at work or even in sleep I could receive a love poem all about you. Don’t be annoy if your mirror, make-up box, dressing table or refrigerator are defaced with my love poems sticky note in all color shades. I could be really crazy to drive home during working hours only to quickly stick a poem for you before you come back home. Please be accommodating to allow me own the kitchen with you when I am available. Our kitchen is the place to feed the nation and foreplay room. I am communal and love privacy. Ahhh, now you wonder how possible. I joy in the people that surrounds me and like them around especially if they got positive energy but I sleek away a few time to give “BIRTH”. It is the way of eagles to live with a partner till death and so I will.

It is the way of eagles to be singly focused. Don’t mind my obsession about you. I already started displaying it before your arrival, I don’t intend to stop. I am not good at giving gift but I will do my best to pull few surprises. Please look beyond the gift into the heart of giving.

I am not looking for you; I am looking for God in you. I am sure if you love God you will love me. Give all of you to God. Verily, verily I say to you, no prayer can make me ask you on a first date if I catch a glimpse of heavy make-up, chain on your leg, tattoo of me, cross, Jesus or anything on your body, fixing of eye-lashes and anything that is over doing. Godliness is not hidden; it will always appear in our dressing. It is simple to catch my attention. It is simple simply excellence. Let me repeat your total submission and love to God is the key to my love. Please just be you, I already love you and promise to always do.

I am a man of many flaws and mistakes but I have asked God for a large heart for you. I am not immortal but supernatural. I love you already without your sight. I am impressed by your deep love for God, strong ethic for work, and effectual prayer life. You are all I crave, desire and want. Tobi love you big big. You are my heartbeat.

 

Your King.

Valentine Special: What is love?

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What is love? Can you define love? I am sure I have heard love over 1 million times since I was born. I have seen people make love to themselves but still end up divorced. I have seen two people in love hate themselves. They say love is an emotional feeling. Yes, I used to believe that but today I have something different to share with you.

If love is a feeling, then it becomes very easy for our feelings to change because our mind where emotion seat has capacity to be happy and sad, confused and convinced, and likewise love and hate. It is like a changeover switch that can move anytime situation or environment changes. It is a thermometer. If love is based on feeling, then the environment is a very important factor in falling into and falling out of love. Love or hate could be based on friends, education, social status, money, looks, and etc. These things are ephemeral. They are perishing, surface and temporal.

I am of the opinion that love is a spirit not feeling. It is constant. It cannot be separated. It does not switch-over. It is a thermostat that rather influence its environment to flow with it. It is a powerful energy that does not look at physical environment, rather it is piercing into the inner mind of the other to see deep and eternal beauty of the other. It is the singular thing that will make you receive a heart of giving rather than the gift. The gift may be less expensive but you will appreciate it like gold.   Love is giving what the receiver cannot pay back. Love is giving and forgiving. If he or she cannot forgive then they aren’t loving but this should not be a reason why you should always misbehave. We love receiving gift but it is hard to forgive. Forgiving is a greater proof of love. ‘

One of the test of love of eagles is to pick a leave drops it into the wind while flying. The other partner dives down into the wind to pick the leave and bring it up to the other partner. This is a way to test loyalty. Everyone can love in calm and splendid time. It is easy to love in comfort, how about in challenges(wind) will your partner be loyal and forgiving?

Love is never one way, it is two ways, it is giving and forgiving, it is a rose of flower full with thorn because of the destroyer. It is a full spirit in human being that cannot be unchanging, immortal and divine. It is the giver of life and the source of all. You cannot give sacrificial love without Him. He gave and forgave you allow Jesus into your life. You will have the capacity to love extravagantly because love is a spirit. The love of God is shed abroad through the Holy Ghost in us. We are a receiver and transmitter of radio wave. God loves you. I love you. Go and love on the world.

FEELING COMFORTABLE IN MY “SINGLE” CHAIR?

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In Africa, when you attain a certain age the world begin to put pressure on you and remind you of getting married. Marriage is not the key to happiness and been single is not a curse. Nothing is wrong with you as a single man or lady? Please why do you need someone to complete you?

The first 25 years of my life was in the single zone. It was the most interesting and adventurous time of my life. A time I spent in developing and growing mhyself which has not stopped. They were the time I found MYSELF. I enjoyed God’s love and also gave love to myself. When you take yourself to the ice-cream parlour you do not need to take a selfie to show it. When you went to do some swimming you do not need to think will I like it. When you are doing your early morning jogging while articulating goals and also speaking in the unknown. You love yourself unstopped. None stop and without hurt. This is the time of no friction and this allow you give better love to others and God. There was no depression. I enjoyed all around me. I said what I want to say and how I want to say it.

Just close to my twenty-fifth birthday, I started allowing the feelings of the heart speak to me. It was overwhelming and really made me vulnerable.  I was playing a romantic movie scene on TV which was awesomely amazing. My heart was given away totally. I was sold out. I was in my heart rejoicing to the altar. Suddenly, there was sharp turn and each vehicle drove farther and farther from each other. I have drawn my first and probably last lesson of love from this event.

I confess that the process of healing was not easy. Your healing starts when you forgive. It required lot of energy and emotion readjustment or engineering. It was also in this time I was going through health challenges, It became really revealing when you are left alone to navigate through the storms but you were there when they needed a hand. I learned very serious lessons of life. I have forgiven the person but I will never forget the lesson learned. It is no wonder the Book of books says guard your heart with all diligence…some people are scavenging and looking for who to steal or rob of their happiness, kill their morale and when they leave they expect you to be sad because they have just destroyed and withdrawn your happiness. This is because they think they are all you got to be happy. You have to prove them wrong.

I have spent the last 12 months again in the SINGLE chair with the last 3 months been comfortable and hungry for more life achievement. The creativity and innovation spirit is rejuvenated. I am fired up to do more, I am inspired to break limit and deliver set goals. Hello, your been single is for a purpose enjoy it and grow in it. If you have never enjoyed been single you can never enjoy been married, it did not say that but Dr. Myles Munroe said it. Why are you in a haste to get married? Why are you troubled to find someone? Calm down, I tell you, eyes have not seen and ears have not heard what the Lord has prepared for you. Whenever they don’t love you they always complain. The Book of books say the path of you the righteous shines brighter and brighter… the truth is you are getting better and better. As I get closer to thirty, I am remembered I don’t deserve better but the BEST. Show plenty love to yourself in your single state, take yourself out, cook sweet delicacies to yourself, take care of your body as a king or queen you are. Smile with a big attitude of gratitude for the altitude you are stepping into. You are LIMITLESS when you understand that been SINGLE is not a curse. Very soon you find that person who does not need you to be complete and you don’t need them to complete. They just love you because of YOU. Not that you don’t have flaws but they just love you still and cannot stop loving you. Till then keep feeling comfortable in your SINGLE chair.

Adorationem sui

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In adoration of the king,
In awe of your wonderful splendor
The emperor of his territories
The author of scrolls untold
The kingmaker
King, purple is your linen
Royalty, blue is your heart
Priest, white is your girdle
Supernatural, golden is thy mind
Eagle, vision from afar
Lion, grin of courage
Dove, smile of peace
Swan, love for all
The king of the flight
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I am the best
I am the greatest
I am a god
I am a king
The lover of my Queen
The keeper of the city gate
The sower of the wine press and fruitful vine
The father of my seeds
The king of Eden territory
The emerald of excellence
The Jasper of chokmah
The Diamond of Wealth
The crystal of God’s mind
The king of thought
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The abundance of word
The mutterings of God’s wisdom
The emblem of God’s Kingdom
The light of his domain
My Queen is beauty in the mind and head
My Heir is the fruit of my hand
My friends are suit for my body
My crown is Ecstatic splendor
Understanding beyond standing
Learning better than leaning
Acting greater than ranting
Thought higher than philandering
So is the king
I am Rehoboth factor
I am Ekklesia
I am the Eagle
I am King…
written by Akinnike Michael Oluwatobiloba
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LETTER TO GENERAL DAE ON THE COLD WAR.

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Gun shot, carcass on the war front, the injured are lying helplessly in the hands of the medics. Desolation, arrogance, pride and hate fill the air. Allies and country FRIENDS call for revenge and our throat thirst for blood. The ground is messier than ever with blood.

Suddenly, I as the general on this side is tired of fighting, I have lost many soldiers, got several surgery to remove bullets, I almost died, I am thinking for how long will this war go on. Can’t these allies of ours bring us to table to dialogue and end this war? They have commercialized this war; they sell bullet, armored tanks, drones and ammunitions to us, while our men die in battle. They enjoy the money, smile and live in love with their own people and spouse, while we are at war.

Yesterday, I got a letter that was unaddressed. The writing communicate like you are interested in dialogue and peace. After security analysis from allies and experts the letter was deemed irrelevant, because it was not addressed and our experts think you wrote it to another General you are at war with. I holla at your territory to observe your body language toward peace but you did not show up. I was made to know this could be a trap for ambushed. I was encouraged to continue the WAR. Our guards are ready as ever, new drones and rocket launchers just arrived this morning. We have ordered some incredible and gigantic warship, our soldiers are motivated but I AM TIRED OF WAR General DAE.

As I look at my table, I see proposals from different Generals like you for communion and international RELATIONSHIP, they look juicy but I can’t quickly forget the good old days of our friendship and relationship. I hope you remember those days too…

I lay on my bed, I am tired, weary and thinking of the dead, the people we have made homeless, the number of women we have made widows, how about the amputees and children we have both made orphans. Are you not TIRED OF WAR? If you are, then we must not shy away from dialogue, let put a stop and hurt to this war.

There is no need for blood spilling and shedding again. Let put our allies to shame and make this tie a forever for life in peace, love and happiness.

Dear General Dae, I will give it a deep thought on my own, I will expect a reply to this letter General DAE. If you want my men to seize fire for you to give this dialogue a thought, please let me know as soon as possible. Our seize fire will not mean removing all guards and our flag hoisted in your territory we have conquered. I know this is pretty hard for both of us, but you got to step out and give it a thought on your own.

 

RESPECT IN WAR FOR PEACE.

Signed by The EAGLE WAR LORD AND GENERAL.

KONJI NAH BASTARD…LIBIDO IS BLIND.

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As a young Christian, you have heard  the sermon of Joseph(the prime minister) and Mary(the mother of Jesus), how they remained chaste and God blessed them in return. You also want God’s blessing, so you decided you were going to live a chaste life like they did.

Good, the journey started as a child but the real battle started as a teenager, your body started calling for what you cannot give it. It is hungry like your stomach, it desires food and its food is SEX. Can anyone in the bid to fill hunger, eat poison. Having sex outside marriage is poison! When we eat and get satisfied, does that eliminate hunger in future, NO! Alas! Having sex is the step to having another sex.

My journey thus far was inspired by my mother and my religious background. I had friends who were all sexually active. I aided them in getting their victim but refused to act like them. I knew all the technique but was not interested in defiling myself. Yes I did not, but I am guilty of accomplice. Ask my friend, will you marry any of the girls you had sex with? The answer is a blatant NO! Hey Sis and Bro, Sex will not make him/her love you more, it is a big lie.

For me, it has been rough, I do not even know how I stumbled to be here still standing. Not that I have never tried to but I have always wanted a future so different and outstanding.

I eventually found someone I love deeply after God’s leading. When i say God’s leading, i know what i am saying. She is cute, loving, caring, intelligent and cynosure of all eye.  She is a Christian, tongue speaking, holy ghost filled but we put ourselves in a very tight situation, we did everything that precede sex but did not have sex.  Mind you, everything that precedes sex is SIN, if you are not married. Why are you pouring fuel in the engine you do not want to start. Rather than our love to get stronger, today we are way apart. That is what SIN and premarital sex can do to even people who genuinely love each other. I have always thought I will get stronger as I get older. That is not the case; rather the temptation is more frequent and harder. It has become tougher and daunting.

I honestly regret every action behind those close doors, I am not proud of it, but grace kept me standing. Hey, you justify that kissing, smooching, fingering is no SEX, you are a bloody liar. Every activity that leads to sex is sex. I repeat, why are you pouring fuel in the engine you do not have intent to start?

God’s love is unchanging, he desire we present our body a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to him…which is our only reasonable service. The result of my action was guilt, depression, sadness, fear and most of all a separation from my love.

Dear, why are you drinking poison every day in the form of premarital sex? Why are you killing yourself and saying it is enjoyment. Premarital sex kills.

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I have renewed my vow and now taking it again. In between 3-5 years, I will get married, I will walk down the aisle with my Queen, I will wait patiently for her. She is priceless, her worth more than rubies, the glory of her husband, the keeper of her home, she overcome her enemies at the city gate, the explanation of God’s beauty. The road has not been easy but I am willing by God’s grace to cross the finish line.

If you have messed up, he loves you, if you have not yet messed up but you are not born again, please give your life to                 Jesus as your Lord and savior.    Jesus loves you so much.