Femi has been pressurizing me for sex just two weeks after we started dating. I have always believe in waiting until marriage to have sex but for the fear of not losing him, I agreed to give in to his demand on valentine day as a proof of my love to him.
*****************
14th February, 2012
Mom barged into my room and saw Femi and I in a very deep romance; my cloths were gone and he was fondling my breasts. She shouted my name and angrily slammed the door after her then went into the sitting room breathing heavily with tears rolling down her eyes. Femi quickly jumped off me and picked up his clothes trying to find his way out. I didn’t bother to check whether he dressed up before leaving. Deep inside of me, I had concluded that today would be my last day on earth. I went to my mom in the sitting room after dressing up and knelt before her; I cautiously stayed away from her a bit in case she had any plan of grabbing me.
“I’m sorry mom” I said. She looked at me, shook her head and used her hands to cover her face. “I’m sorry mom”, I repeated. She looked up and asked me to take my seat. I quickly shook my head to disagree and I said I preferred to stay the way I was. “Ngozi, sit down” she echoed. I reluctantly sat down on the couch opposite her.
“Ngozi! Ngozi!! Ngozi!!! How many times did I call you? “she asked. “Thrice mom”, I responded. “I have never been this disappointed in my life,” she said amidst tears. “You are just 20 and you have the effrontery to do that nonsense with a boy in your room? You know what you just did to yourself? You made yourself so cheap by allowing that boy sleep with you in your father’s house”. “No mom, he didn’t sleep with …” “but he would have if I didn’t enter” she cut me off. “I’m sorry mom, it won’t repeat itself again” I said, lowering my head in tears.
“You know what, wipe your tears”, She said with a straight face. “You see that boy, he won’t marry you. He has just come to take away your pride and after he’s done, he will dump you and move on to other girls like you. A guy has no right to enter you except you are bounded by the legal institution of marriage.
Sweetheart, do not take off your panties for any guy because he calls you omalicha: take them off because he married you. Do not open your legs for him because he says you would make a good mother; open them because he has paid your bride price and is ready to take on the responsibility of being a father. Every person who indulges their sexual appetites in fleshly lusts would see themselves surrounded, way-laid and marked for ruin by their spiritual enemies. Ngozi dear, you see that thing called premarital sex; it is a terrible disease, its potent panacea is to avoid falling into it in the first place.”
“I will be wicked to tell you that sex is not fun. I will also be wicked not to tell you that the consequences of premarital sex are not funny at all. Sexually transmitted diseases aren’t things that just happen to people. They are consequences of somebody’s actions and they can happen to you. The odds are that if you choose to do it before you get married, you may as well stop asking if you are going to get a sexually transmitted disease and start asking which one you are going to contract among the more than 25 STDs. And the truth is that STDs don’t just inconvenience you; they don’t just cost you in terms of medical bills, discomfort and embarrassment, they can also kill you.”
“But mom, I read that we are not expected to control our urges, that was why protections are made; therefore, safe sex can be promoted” I said. My mom smiled and said, “Ngozi, I am your mother and I have been through this stage. This is one of the lies we were told when I was your age. The truth is that the chances of getting STD are greater than the chances of pregnancy. You can do the patch, the pill, the shot, the condom or some other form of protection but none of them are a 100% effective in reducing the risk of pregnancy, and none of them are 100% effective in reducing the risk of contracting STDs. Note that I didn’t say “prevent” because protections do not stop anything, they only lower or reduce the risk of getting diseases and pregnancy. The only true safe sex is abstinence.
“My daughter, have you ever wondered why your dad refers to me as Nwanyi Oma? The Good Book says he who finds a wife has found a good thing. I am the good thing that your dad found. He was my first and last boyfriend. I didn’t date any other guy before him; I haven’t and would not try any other after him. Your dad and I grew and worked on our relationship together; he did not visit my house to suck my brea
st or caress, romance and finger my destiny away, neither did he invite me to his house to take away my virginity. The times we were together, each of us would go back home a better person, because the virginity of a woman is her pride and the glory of her husband. You should realize that you are not just a wife, you are first a woman before you are found, you are the good thing which every man who wants favor from God must find. Therefore, you shouldn’t make yourself cheap. You see, Chukwu fu gi n’anya to the extent that He expect men to find you and not the other way round.
Don’t charm guys by exposing your breasts, thigh and buttocks. No sane and godly man will marry you when you expose your breast like Cossy Orjiakor, act like Rihanna, dress like Beyonce, expose your treasured parts like Yvonne Nelson and be sexually obsessed like Kim Kardashian. You will only attract men who want you for sex and nothing more. You want a godly man? Then dress godly.
My dear, it is important I tell you that marriage is not two minutes instant noodles; you need to take your time before venturing into it. You don’t opt in and out. Marriage is not bread and butter; it is sweet and sour. It is not smooth-sailing; it is battling against storms and tempests. It is not a straight road; it is a road full of sharp bends and many unknown T-junctions. If you can’t bear to go through this process, please steer clear of marriage and…
A car horn broke mom’s talk. “I think your Dad is back” she said. My heart skipped a bit because if she tells Dad what happened, my life would be miserable that day. “What’s the problem? she asked noticing my reaction. But before I could say anything, she quickly assured me of not letting Dad know only if I promised it won’t repeat itself again. I quickly promised. She stood up to welcome Dad outside. As she was going, she said “There is something more important than sex; that something is not really a something, it’s someone. It is God.
Stay Purified
THOUGHT FROM A GOLDEN PEN 