Big Brother Naija: Leadership lessons gleaned from Khloe


It has been three weeks of big brother Naija season 3 titled; Double Wahala. The house mate has made the competition house look like a love and romantic nest. Despite all the negative there are lots of positive lesson to glean from this reality show as Nigerian and Africans. Some of these leadership lessons are;

Listen: Khloe (officially Queen Koko Da Silva) was not a good listener. She was too loud and noisy as the Average Nigerian politician. She was not calm; she exhibits a pure character of a sanguine leader. She knows how to talk to her followers about what she expected of them. How she expected the house to be but did not do enough to listen to her fellow housemates like Tobi Bakre. Tobi Bakre was a good listener. He did not listen to respond but listened to understand. Most of the girls loves Tobi for been a listener and a gardener(care-taker). Khloe was too dramatic, she was the loud and lousy.

Team player: Queen Koko Da Silva; Khloe was good in initiating a good plan but did not do well in getting the buy-in of all her team. She had a good idea to make the Housemates to talk about entrepreneurship but slipped while waking Dee-One from his sleep. She would have done well if she had delegated Vandora to wake Dee-One from his sleep. Vandora would have been able to wake him up without a uproar. In leadership the buy-in of majority of your team is very important. Leadership is not about the leader but about the leader and followers.

One of defining choice of a leader is choice of partner and/or team.

Attitude: Charles Swindoll said, “The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company…a church….a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past…we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude…I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you…we are in charge of our attitudes.” ― Charles R Swindoll


Khloe was indiscipline and this was the single bullet that disqualified her from the house. She loose her temper easily and at free will. Her case was like Alexandra the great who conquered the world but did not conquered himself. During her tenure the housemates won the wager for the first time which Tobi Bakre failed to do. She won the wager but was disqualified from the house despite her immunity. She was the custodian of the grunde norm. It was her primary assignment as Head of House to keep sanity in the house but she failed in her primary assignment. I would not blame KBrule for whatever happened. As a leadership expert, I know looking at Khloe’s body language yesterday she felt she was sent packing because of Kbrule but leadership is huge RESPONSIBILITY. Khloe wanted 45 million Naira but her attitude kicked her out of contention. This singular scenario justifies Charles Swindoll’s quote. Dear reader, your attitude is more important than MONEY.

Many young people who are watching Big Brother Naija and are in the house see themselves as the leaders of tomorrow but they lack the simple understanding of leadership. This reality show has opened our eye to our indiscipline, low self-esteem, lack of value and many more. The positive is that we are intelligent, energetic, passionate, talented and full of a lot of ideas. If all you are watching is the nude and immoral side, it is time to turn the coin and see how you can improve your life from this big reality show.




Dear Hadassah,

My charming enigma of beauty, outstanding royalty in attitude, the touch of excellence. Magnetic and alluring to behold. The medicine to my craze. An ardent and addicted God-lover. My Queen, your king loves you. I pray you love me.

Yes, this is my confession of my imperfect perfection. Your king is not asking you put up with his nonsense but the brokenness that beautifies him. It is the way of eagles to fly alone. Many walk, few run and eagles fly alone. Be sure I want to spend my life with you under the refuge of THE ROCK.

I am not a party freak. The weird thing is I love dancing, singing, eating and gisting. I love rap music and hymns. I don’t love crowd. Crowd scares me when it is a weird party. I manage to blend in a few time but I end up with headache. You will be amazed when you see me dancing and you are in for a big competition on wedding day. I dislike party and aso-ebi, not that they are bad but they are just not my thing. I grew up knowing I dislike it. I am open to go to a few parties with you but not always.

Treasure, I am not perfect o. I joy in deep thought. Critical thinking is my obsession. I don’t fall into this always but I do seldom. When I do I soliloquize. I mutter words. I love been left alone. I retract and sleek away into solitude. This is a time of pain and travail to birth new ideas and solutions. It really does not last long but very dangerous to nag at this period. I abhor and detest it. This is the height of insensitivity to me. This time all I deserve from you is food, chocolate, a surprise peck or short kiss, a path on the back and the energizing word “I LOVE YOU”.

Let me apologize for all my wrong before time. Hadas, when am in traffic, at work or even in sleep I could receive a love poem all about you. Don’t be annoy if your mirror, make-up box, dressing table or refrigerator are defaced with my love poems sticky note in all color shades. I could be really crazy to drive home during working hours only to quickly stick a poem for you before you come back home. Please be accommodating to allow me own the kitchen with you when I am available. Our kitchen is the place to feed the nation and foreplay room. I am communal and love privacy. Ahhh, now you wonder how possible. I joy in the people that surrounds me and like them around especially if they got positive energy but I sleek away a few time to give “BIRTH”. It is the way of eagles to live with a partner till death and so I will.

It is the way of eagles to be singly focused. Don’t mind my obsession about you. I already started displaying it before your arrival, I don’t intend to stop. I am not good at giving gift but I will do my best to pull few surprises. Please look beyond the gift into the heart of giving.

I am not looking for you; I am looking for God in you. I am sure if you love God you will love me. Give all of you to God. Verily, verily I say to you, no prayer can make me ask you on a first date if I catch a glimpse of heavy make-up, chain on your leg, tattoo of me, cross, Jesus or anything on your body, fixing of eye-lashes and anything that is over doing. Godliness is not hidden; it will always appear in our dressing. It is simple to catch my attention. It is simple simply excellence. Let me repeat your total submission and love to God is the key to my love. Please just be you, I already love you and promise to always do.

I am a man of many flaws and mistakes but I have asked God for a large heart for you. I am not immortal but supernatural. I love you already without your sight. I am impressed by your deep love for God, strong ethic for work, and effectual prayer life. You are all I crave, desire and want. Tobi love you big big. You are my heartbeat.


Your King.

Valentine Special: What is love?


What is love? Can you define love? I am sure I have heard love over 1 million times since I was born. I have seen people make love to themselves but still end up divorced. I have seen two people in love hate themselves. They say love is an emotional feeling. Yes, I used to believe that but today I have something different to share with you.

If love is a feeling, then it becomes very easy for our feelings to change because our mind where emotion seat has capacity to be happy and sad, confused and convinced, and likewise love and hate. It is like a changeover switch that can move anytime situation or environment changes. It is a thermometer. If love is based on feeling, then the environment is a very important factor in falling into and falling out of love. Love or hate could be based on friends, education, social status, money, looks, and etc. These things are ephemeral. They are perishing, surface and temporal.

I am of the opinion that love is a spirit not feeling. It is constant. It cannot be separated. It does not switch-over. It is a thermostat that rather influence its environment to flow with it. It is a powerful energy that does not look at physical environment, rather it is piercing into the inner mind of the other to see deep and eternal beauty of the other. It is the singular thing that will make you receive a heart of giving rather than the gift. The gift may be less expensive but you will appreciate it like gold.   Love is giving what the receiver cannot pay back. Love is giving and forgiving. If he or she cannot forgive then they aren’t loving but this should not be a reason why you should always misbehave. We love receiving gift but it is hard to forgive. Forgiving is a greater proof of love. ‘

One of the test of love of eagles is to pick a leave drops it into the wind while flying. The other partner dives down into the wind to pick the leave and bring it up to the other partner. This is a way to test loyalty. Everyone can love in calm and splendid time. It is easy to love in comfort, how about in challenges(wind) will your partner be loyal and forgiving?

Love is never one way, it is two ways, it is giving and forgiving, it is a rose of flower full with thorn because of the destroyer. It is a full spirit in human being that cannot be unchanging, immortal and divine. It is the giver of life and the source of all. You cannot give sacrificial love without Him. He gave and forgave you allow Jesus into your life. You will have the capacity to love extravagantly because love is a spirit. The love of God is shed abroad through the Holy Ghost in us. We are a receiver and transmitter of radio wave. God loves you. I love you. Go and love on the world.



I am a keen lover of the female gender. It is great delight to have them around as I am the only male in my family since my father died. I am unapologetic about my support for the female gender. I will always support the aspiration of women’s goal and aspiration.

Women are not weaklings, they are not foolish, they don’t whine. They are wise, strong and pillar of the society. They hold an important office in the growth and development of a nation. They are the custodian of values and morals. Woman; a teacher and shaper of destiny. No real man will pride himself in physically assaulting a female. No real man will abuse a woman. A matured man protects, tend and care for the woman gender. The strength of Man is in using our strength to cover up for the woman’s weakness not showcasing it.

My deep concern is when a woman begins to see herself as less. When a woman wants to be equal to the status and stature of a man using the world equality? Are we in a competition? Didn’t the maker made us help meet (collaborators)? Why then the competition for equality when you are? You don’t fight to be what you are because you are?

Anybody who have to say you don’t know who I am before you know who they are was nobody- Pastor Sam Adeyemi

Why the tussle, struggle and hassle. You are a woman, celebrate your uniqueness and stop fighting with the male gender like he is a gladiator. Stop speaking for yourself alone and expecting a man to support, rather speak for the oppressed men, children and women on the street. We were created in different capacity, male and female he created them…Please dear Queen celebrate your womanhood with a deep seen of humanity. You can never be a man; no matter how you try God will never promote you to the position of a man and vice versa.

Many ideologies have destroyed the family and society. A society where women expect merit even when they don’t merit it. A world where women can misbehave without consequences but man cannot. A world where been rude to husband is seen as romantic.

Let’s turn to statistics: Do you know 1/3 male are sexually harassed by female worldwide at work place? Do you know globally there are more tendencies a boy is abuse without help than a girl? Do you know women are crueler to women than men? Do you know it is likely a female gets help or favor under same condition than a male? Do you 2 out of 5 persons that has gone through domestic violence is male?

Is this equality? I am an advocate of gender equity. I love women; I will never beat or physically abuse a woman. I will always accord the respect a woman is due to her. If I wrong a woman I will be humble enough to apologize sincerely and all this I have always done.

Women must begin to dignify themselves than mere talk. All ye feminist, when was the last time you stood up in a bus for a pregnant or nursing mother to sit? A man is expected to stand up right? Shake my head… I think all feminist should think humanity first before feminism. Women stop looking for sympathy rather seek empathy. You are not weak…infact after the bible had called you week vessels, it called you sons. What an upgrade!

I remember a celebrity feminist pulled up media stunt with Femi Anikulapo-Kuti’s children. If you are truly a feminist you must value children. If not feminist is rubbish. Feminism without a respect for your own body and nakedness is stupidity. I remember a feminist snatched her friend’s husband. Feminist that does not respect fellow feminist is waste of time. I know lots of feminist who are rude to the leadership of their husbands at home because they are equal. This is rebellion against God. Any feminist without respect for God’s command is foolishness.

I hope women’s selfishness, being self-centered, and arrogance are not been labeled FEMINISM. Killing INEQUALITY with another INEQUALITY IS FOOLISHNESS. In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth…And God said come let us create MAN in our own IMAGE and likeness(Man is God’s image but can never be GOD)…Come let’s make him an help meet(WHY DO WOMEN WANT TO BE MEN?)…She shall be called Woman (WOMB-MAN not WOE-MAN) for out of me she was brought forth. Women you are beautiful, unique and whole, celebrate your uniqueness.



As a young Christian, you have heard  the sermon of Joseph(the prime minister) and Mary(the mother of Jesus), how they remained chaste and God blessed them in return. You also want God’s blessing, so you decided you were going to live a chaste life like they did.

Good, the journey started as a child but the real battle started as a teenager, your body started calling for what you cannot give it. It is hungry like your stomach, it desires food and its food is SEX. Can anyone in the bid to fill hunger, eat poison. Having sex outside marriage is poison! When we eat and get satisfied, does that eliminate hunger in future, NO! Alas! Having sex is the step to having another sex.

My journey thus far was inspired by my mother and my religious background. I had friends who were all sexually active. I aided them in getting their victim but refused to act like them. I knew all the technique but was not interested in defiling myself. Yes I did not, but I am guilty of accomplice. Ask my friend, will you marry any of the girls you had sex with? The answer is a blatant NO! Hey Sis and Bro, Sex will not make him/her love you more, it is a big lie.

For me, it has been rough, I do not even know how I stumbled to be here still standing. Not that I have never tried to but I have always wanted a future so different and outstanding.

I eventually found someone I love deeply after God’s leading. When i say God’s leading, i know what i am saying. She is cute, loving, caring, intelligent and cynosure of all eye.  She is a Christian, tongue speaking, holy ghost filled but we put ourselves in a very tight situation, we did everything that precede sex but did not have sex.  Mind you, everything that precedes sex is SIN, if you are not married. Why are you pouring fuel in the engine you do not want to start. Rather than our love to get stronger, today we are way apart. That is what SIN and premarital sex can do to even people who genuinely love each other. I have always thought I will get stronger as I get older. That is not the case; rather the temptation is more frequent and harder. It has become tougher and daunting.

I honestly regret every action behind those close doors, I am not proud of it, but grace kept me standing. Hey, you justify that kissing, smooching, fingering is no SEX, you are a bloody liar. Every activity that leads to sex is sex. I repeat, why are you pouring fuel in the engine you do not have intent to start?

God’s love is unchanging, he desire we present our body a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to him…which is our only reasonable service. The result of my action was guilt, depression, sadness, fear and most of all a separation from my love.

Dear, why are you drinking poison every day in the form of premarital sex? Why are you killing yourself and saying it is enjoyment. Premarital sex kills.


I have renewed my vow and now taking it again. In between 3-5 years, I will get married, I will walk down the aisle with my Queen, I will wait patiently for her. She is priceless, her worth more than rubies, the glory of her husband, the keeper of her home, she overcome her enemies at the city gate, the explanation of God’s beauty. The road has not been easy but I am willing by God’s grace to cross the finish line.

If you have messed up, he loves you, if you have not yet messed up but you are not born again, please give your life to                 Jesus as your Lord and savior.    Jesus loves you so much.




Great to have you here Kings and Queens. You are the best of your kind that God has created. You are priceless; you are the solution to this world. Before and after you no one will be better than you. Therefore, let no one make you feel less of yourself. You came alone, you will go alone. No one is as important in your journey as God.


Why should your father, mother, sister, brother, pastor, boyfriend, girlfriend, aunt, uncle, neighbor, boss, or anybody want your hymen or want to have sex with you? No price is worth you? Sometimes we may get carried away by emotions but we must be disciplined enough to control and WAIT! We may be weird and be in our beast mode but we must allow the word of God dwell in us richly to conquer our emotions to wait for the purpose of God on our life in marriage.

Have ever thought girl, what is the function of the hymen in the body? Yes, for what purpose? I can say it emphatically that science says it got no purpose. It only purpose was to be a sign of God desire for us to wait till our marriage night. It is God speaking to us to close-up and WAIT!


Can you just WAIT for sex? God desire we offer ourselves a living sacrifice worthy and acceptable to him, this is our only reasonable service.

If you live a chaste life with Christ in you the hope of glory then you have offered your life as a sacrifice to God. Jesus is the real deal. His life given into our spirit has transformed us to become an Ekklesia (selected one).

If you have been broken, no worries, Jesus still love you the way you are, you have made great mistake, He desires to show you agape love, a love unconditional, he wants to pour out himself on you, come to him and be free from your guilt, shame and death.

Action Key: I vow to stay chaste to my marriage as Christ was sinless to save and take the church as a bride from sin and death. I accept him as my Lord and Saviour.

Continue rejoicing in his peace till we meet again. Jesus loves you.



I had sex and so what? I had sex but I am not proud of it, I had sex but I regret it, I had premarital sex when I was in darkness, I had sex when I was fulfilling the lust of the flesh. I messed up. Yes, I lost control and I am still not proud of it, but Jesus waited.

Jesus found me in my mess, he cleaned me up, and he loved me before I came to him. He invited me like the woman by the well. He quenched my thirst with the living water and not sex. He fed me with bread of life and not pornography, masturbation or same sex immorality. He showed me his amazing grace. He killed my addiction with his affectionate and affirmative words he gently spoke into my spirit.

I wish I knew what I know now. I wish I was not deflowered. I wish I was not broken, but it is okay. I have made a vow to stay chaste and pure till my wedding night. It is 5 years down the line without sex. I am enjoying his grace, his marvelous joy, peace unlimited, blessings without bound, I have a fulfilling job with a handsome pay. I am engage to the best spouse in the world, though we are tempted on every side by the devil but we are fighting, resisting and wining by His grace. We are getting married later this year. I am a bundle of testimonies, since I found my new love; Jesus.


Jesus loves you still, even if you have messed up, he calls out to you, he can make you clean, pure and acceptable. The devil will put fear in you and remind you of your past, but Jesus love you still. His love is boundless. He wants to shower his amazing Grace and favour on you. He is waiting for you and patiently.

You can close your eyes where you are and say a sincere and heart felt prayer. Confess and forsake your sin. Promise him to live chaste and pure till you get married. Tell him you will not engage in premarital sex. Ask for His grace to win all your battle. Ask him to be your Lord and Saviour.

Welcome to the family of God, where we experience Agape LOVE of God.

I had sex and so what because I know better now and I found Jesus. I am a new creature and heaven bounded. I am a Light to my world.